We Always End Up Naked

Well, we had a plan tonight…
A nice dinner, a couple drinks…
Maybe even act respectable!
(Yeah, right!)

[Verse 1]
We met down at a tiki bar
Just a few steps from the sand
She had a frozen margarita
I had a cold one in my hand
We said we’d watch the sunset
Then head on home by ten
But the band kicked into high gear
And there went our plans again!

[Pre-Chorus]
One more round, one more song
One more dance beneath the moon
Every time we try behaving
We start misbehaving soon!

[Chorus]
We always end up naked!
Somehow our clothes just disappear
We start out looking respectable
Then somebody yells, “More beer!”
Could be the rum, could be the rhythm
Could be the trouble that we’re makin’
We don’t know how, we don’t know why
But we always end up naked!
(Whoa-oh-oh! NAKED!)
(Hey! Where’d my shorts go?)

[Verse 2]
We took a sunset sailing trip
To see the dolphins play
The captain said, “Now keep it classy!”
We said, “Of course! Okay!”
But somewhere past the harbor
She whispered, “Bet you won’t!”
I said, “Honey, that’s a bad idea!”
She grinned and said, “You don’t?”
My flip-flops went overboard
Her sundress caught the breeze
The captain yelled, “This ain’t that kind of cruise!”
We yelled, “Well, now it is!”

[Pre-Chorus]
We try to be sophisticated
We really do our best
But give us one more island cocktail
And we forget the rest!

[Chorus]
We always end up naked!
Somehow our clothes just disappear
We start out looking respectable
Then somebody yells, “More beer!”
Could be the rum, could be the rhythm
Could be the trouble that we’re makin’
We don’t know how, we don’t know why
But we always end up naked!
(Whoa-oh-oh! NAKED!)
(Somebody find my pants!)

[Verse 3]
We booked a fancy island resort
With champagne by the pool
We promised we’d be civilized
And follow every rule
We made it through the appetizers
Even kept our sandals on
But the DJ played our favorite tune
And all that class was gone!
The security guy came running
Said, “You two can’t do that here!”
I said, “We’re just enjoying nature!”
He said, “Then get your nature outta here!”

[Bridge – Half-spoken, playful]
Some folks collect old postcards
Some collect guitars
We collect our missing clothing
From beaches, boats, and bars!
Now we’ve been kicked out of a hot tub
Got a warning at the pier
And there’s a pair of my old boxers
Still hanging from a chandelier!

[Breakdown – Steel drums and crowd response]
Lead: “Where’s my shirt?”
Crowd: “DON’T KNOW!”
Lead: “Where’s her dress?”
Crowd: “IT’S GONE!”
Lead: “Who’s got my underwear?”
Crowd: “THEY’RE FLOATING IN THE POND!”
Lead: “Are we ever gonna change?”
Crowd: “NO WAY!”
Lead: “What happens when the sun goes down?”
Crowd: “WE GET NAKED!”

[Final Chorus – Big singalong]
We always end up naked!
Somehow our clothes just disappear
We start out looking respectable
Then somebody yells, “More beer!”
From Key West down to Jamaica
Every beach bar knows we’re troublemakers
We don’t know how, we don’t know why
But we always end up naked!
We always end up naked!
Underneath that island moon
We always end up naked!
And it usually happens way too soon!
Could be the breeze, could be the music
Could be the cocktails that we’re makin’
One thing’s sure when the night is through
We always end up naked!

[Outro – Spoken]
“Honey, have you seen my shorts?”
“Nope!”
“Well, where’s your bikini?”
“Ask the bartender!”
“Why would the bartender have your bikini?”
“Well… that’s a long story!”
(Spoken, laughing)
“Aw, hell… here we go again!”
WE ALWAYS END UP NAKED!

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